Love

I can go as I please.

I can run as I may.

Yet, in the end,

You always win.

For Your love is a flame.

It's a fire that burns.

It consumes the deepest part of me.

You know my frame.

You know my name.

You see my weakness.

Yet, You call me lovely.

You want everything I have.

You want everything I am.
I may hide.

I may leave.

Yet, You stay.

You remain.

You are not swayed.

There is no one like You.

I was awakened the other night to a meteor shower. My eyes opened at 3:30 a.m. which is a quite unusual moment of the night to awaken for me. As I was scrolling through the internet trying to keep myself entertained, I discovered that there was a meteor shower from 12:00 a.m. till 5:00 a.m. By the time I actually discovered this information, it was already 4:30 a.m.

I quickly opened up the blinds to see a glimpse of these stars. It was strange because the moment I opened the window, I saw a shooting star! I began to hear the song, "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true." I began to think about my dreams and the dreams of these girls in this wonderful home of Laurel Lane. I ended up seeing four shooting stars before my eyes grew heavy and ready to close again.

I really felt that those four shooting stars represented to me the dreams of mine and three of my best friends. I couldn't help but lay my head back down on my pillow and wonder: "What is to become of us God?" This mass exodus we all sense is coming seems closer these days more than ever. No one knows what it will look like or when it will be. We get prophetic words and ponder them in our hearts, but no one really knows what will happen.

These seasons come and go. The days change and the waiting seems like it's almost over. By the use of this word "waiting," I mean the fulfillment of our deepest dreams, the breakthrough. The dreams we have longed for and we know are so close.

Yet, through all of this waiting, God has forged something in the four of us that can never be taken away. We have discovered a redeemed version of family. We have seen a true love that can grow more and more. It has been revealed to us that we can truly go from glory to glory. Things can actually get better!

Who knew that all these years, we would be here in this house full of joys and sweet memories? We seem to cherish the times of fellowship more and more as the days go by. I am amazed that though I have tried to run and hide, the Lord has remained faithful to bring in my life exactly what I have needed: family.

He places the lonely in families and gives them a home. This is a promise that God gives to His children. We are a part of a family and this is why He made us! He wanted relationship. In relationship that is day in and day out, we truly learn about ourselves and the real love of the Father that changes us to the core. I am thankful.

He Never Leaves

Life is full of surprises. It's full of relationships, special moments, amazing memories, sadness, excitement, and fun. Today, I couldn't help but think about all of the relationships in my life and how much they have meant to me. One of my questions to God is: "Why do the seasons change?" Sometimes, I wish some seasons would stay and never change.

Yet, in the cycle of life and time on this Earth, they must. I wish some people could stay right where they are and never leave. I wish I could freeze certain memories in time only to discover that all I have is a picture to suffice. The thing I do know is God is always moving us in directions that will take us on adventures and journeys we never could have imagined.

In the midst of all of the destinations He is guiding us to and leading us through, He never changes. He never gives up on us. He is never ending. He stays the same. Within the human heart we all long for something that will stay and never change. We may have even found ourselves trying to run from this steady love because we don't feel comfortable with consistency, yet He stays.

He shows us about unfailing love. He gives us a love that never fades away with time or changes because of circumstances. He never changes His mind nor is He swayed as He sets His affections towards us. He is not swayed by our doubt or unbelief but He stays the course.

This is powerful to me because all I knew of love was that it changes. It goes away or leaves. I have even heard the words, "I just don't love you anymore." I don't say this for you to feel sorry for me, but I say this to show the power of our God. I say this to show you the difference in a human love that is imperfect to an Agape love from the One who never stops loving. I have come to discover that what I have ever known was not really love at all, but a facade of something that appeared to be so.

Seasons on this Earth come and go. Seasons on this Earth change but the One Lover of our souls chases us down in a way we have never experienced. He never leaves. He never forsakes. He gives us what only He can give.

No other can love as He does and the crazy mystery of all of this is that He is revolutionizing the world with this love through us! He is perfecting His love in us so that we will learn to love as He does. He is giving us eyes to see as He sees.

So take heart friends if you're in a time of transition or you feel that a season is shifting and the winds of change are blowing. Let them blow as they may because there is One who is with you forever.

Come Break The Chains...

"Come break the chains, the chains that hinder love.

All that remains of yester years.

Let Your fire burn, consuming me.

Let Your jealous flame come take away everything.

Let Your fire burn, consuming me.

Let Your jealous flame come take away everything.

Write Your Word upon my heart,

Till all that remains is the Light of Your countenance.

And I will be satisfied when I awaken as a lover of You."

-Misty Edwards (Come Break The Chains)

It's Just Me...

Here I find myself with no words to say.

For the more I see You, the more I see I do not know You.

For how vast are Your seas and how deep are Your wells.

You say, "Just be."

Yet, I strive with all my might to be what You want me to be.

You say, "Just be and that's okay with Me."

Yet, I strive with all my might to get all the answers right.

You say, "Just be and soon you will see that if you just be it's okay with Me."

Therefore, I give up.

I let go.

I give in.

In all my mess,

In all my failures,

In all my strengths.

Here I am.

Here I come.

Here I stand.

No words to say, no right answers to give.

It's just me and that's okay with You.

I Will Return...

"I have been hedged in by thorns on every side.
I have been burned by Your jealous flame.
I've been tested by Your fire.
I've chased my other lovers and I've been turned away,
But as I ache with desire, I will stand and say:

I will return to my first Love.
I will return to the One who loves me.
I will return to my True love.
I will return to the One who loves me.

I have been wounded by Your perfect love.
I have been slain in the desert place.
I've been pursued and overcome.
I've chased my other lovers and I've been turned away,
But as I ache with desire, I will stand and say:

I will return."

-Misty Edwards from the song, "I Will Return"

Beauty In The Wilderness...

Sufferings, trials, and testings. Sometimes, life is just hard. Some seasons require you to ask the Lord for extra strength to walk through. This is what makes this life a journey. This is what makes healing a process. Yet, Paul says, "Count it all joy" for the sake of knowing Christ and sharing with Him in His sufferings.

There is something about suffering that brings us closer to Him. Intimacy can be forged in every season, but even in suffering, a beautiful story can be formed. He is the Author and He is the most amazing Story Teller. He can create the most incredible stories we could never have imagined even if we tried.

Often times, we see a journey of suffering and waiting to be healed as disdainful. It's hard for us to look upon it for what it is. Yet, God sees it as something beautiful. This journey, no matter what it looks like to us, captivates His heart. Therefore, we should ask for His perspective.

When I was in Israel, I saw many mountains, gardens, terrains, and cities, but one place that struck me the most, was the desert. It was the wilderness where Moses led his people that I discovered a beauty. I discovered life in that place. It surprised me because I didn't think life could grow in a barren land. Yet, some of the most beautiful flowers and plants rested in that place.

You would be walking and, all of a sudden, the most beautiful springs of water would lay before you. You would see an animal drinking from the streams like the deer panted for water. In some places, it seemed desolate, but then you would see the most fertile places in the midst of what we would call a desert. It was the most intriguing discovery to me. There is a beauty which can only be found in the wilderness. There is life there.

This discovery led me to think about my own season of this wilderness where I remain as of now. I thought I was out until recently. I was quite distraught about it until I went there myself and found out that Jesus loved the wilderness. He cherished it. John the Baptist lived and thrived in the wilderness.

Amazing things can happen in one's heart in the wilderness. You can see God in a way you never could if you were on the mountain top. You can experience an intimacy that doesn't make sense in any other place.

This beauty can only be found in that place. Therefore, I will remain here until the Lord leads me out. However, when I do come out, I will be found leaning on One who has my heart. I will be found leaning on the One who has been with me till now and will be with me till the end. It is Jesus I want. It is Jesus I long for and I will wait upon Him until He comes.

A Birthday Celebration In Jerusalem...

Words cannot begin to express how amazing it feels to be hearing Hebrew in the background of a cafe in one of the first Christian churches of Jerusalem. Across the street from me is the Tower of King David. Today is the Sabbath, and this is the ancient city. 


This is the HOLY city. This is where Jesus walked. These are the people He loved so deeply. I am truly grateful for this incredible opportunity. 


They gave us the room 31, today I turn 31, and last night during the Shabbat meal, they read from Proverbs 31. The Lord told me that it was a significant chapter for me this year before we even came on this trip. 


As they read the scriptures, my eyes began to fill up with tears being overwhelmed at God's goodness. He spoke and I heard Him. He was right. He is teaching me how to be a wife of the King of all Kings. He is my Husband. His promises stand firm forever and He is faithful. I don't know what else to say. I am here and it is a dream come true.


Israel, in a very strange way almost feels like home. I know that I will travel to many places, but I definitely feel that I will return to this place again someday. It sounds crazy saying things like that for Israel is a once in a lifetime trip. However, I feel it's just the beginning of many more visits to come. 


It isn't what I expected as it appears much differently than it once was. Yet, I feel the Lord in this place so strongly. Our times as a team have been incredible with amazing songs of praise being lifted up! From the mountain tops of the desert, to the hotel rooms of Tel Aviv, God has been praised through our songs. Others have even joined us as we have met together. 


We have encountered the Holy Spirit in this Holy Land and it has been spectacular. We have prophesied over this place that Jerusalem will once again be gathered and will once again draw near to Yeshua.


I wish there was more time to truly experience the culture and the people here. Yet, I do believe someday that will happen. This tour is only a taste of this amazing land. God is good. Praise be to Yeshua.

The Keeper of My Heart...

When grief has filled my heart,

When this journey looks dim,

When I cannot find the path,

When I cannot see ahead of me, You come.

You draw near to me.

While my face is to the floor,

You come and lift my head.

You open my eyes to see Your face.

When I behold your eyes upon me,

I am moved and can see the truth.

I look back and see the lies I once believed.

I begin to feel a sense of hope again.

You are not one who will change.

You are not one who will abandon.

You are not one who will relent.

You are not ashamed of my weakness.

You are the one who keeps His promise.

You are the faithful friend who never forsakes.

You are closer than a brother.

You are the keeper of my heart.

You will not let me go.
You will fight for me.

You will believe in me.

You will stay with me forever.

Here With Me Now

"Just knowing You're here with me now. It changes everything. Just knowing You're here with me now. It changes everything Lord."

"I thought that I had to make it on my own, but You stopped that and claimed me as Your own. You called me Yours."

"So don't give up on me now. I need You strong when I'm weak. Hold on and believe in me when my heart just can't figure out what it wants. Please give me a reason to trust You'll still fight for me."

"Just don't give up on me now cause I'm scared and I need You strong when I'm weak. Hold on and believe in me when my heart just can't figure out what it wants. Please give me a reason to trust You'll still fight for me." 

-Laura Hackett "Here With Me Now"

It's Just Around The River Bend...

Trials and circumstances can sometimes seem overwhelming. Sometimes you feel like you will never overcome them and then the morning comes. The sun rises again and shines it's beautiful light through your window. These hard times can seem as if you are moving down a river looking for your destination.

It seems as if your boat cannot move fast enough or you cannot seem to move your oars hard enough through the water. It seems as if you've been searching for this destination forever.

You've almost lost your strength and you feel as if you cannot lift your arms anymore. Yet, just as you thought you couldn't go one more inch, you see a glimpse of land. You see your resting place at a distance. You see your home. Suddenly, it's the breakthrough right before you.

You've been asking for it. You have pressed in for it. You have tried with all your might to believe. Now it stands right before you. It was just around the river bend. You didn't know it until you saw it but the day has finally arrived. It is here. Your victory has come.

Journey Of A Lifetime...

Romans 8: 19
"Creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

This is my call and this is my journey. My portion is Your inheritance and all that is Yours belongs to me. You are my Father and I will be found Your daughter forever.