Friday, December 19, 2008
This song was running through my head today and I thought, "This is a chance to really believe that Jesus is who He says He is."
Growing up, you always hear of the "stories" the "concerns" that some face through trials. You know those physical hardships that make you feel like "Whoa, where did that come from?"
Today, something unexpected happened that made me question what God was doing. This was a wind of trial that I seem to be facing and something that I have to go through because I sure can't go around it.
This trial has even made me realize how petty all of my other problems in life are. My mind can't even think about them at the moment. They don't seem as important. All I can think of is, "Life is but a vapor."
Where is my hope when all of these things I am placing my trust in fail? What happens when the rubber meets the road and that song I once wrote about trusting in the Lord and placing my hope in Him always actually has to be walked out?
Well, today I heard the doctor say, "We're concerned about this. We are going to have to run some tests you may have..." Just the words, "you may have..." were running through my head as I was sitting on the check up table. As the doctor walked away to get the nurse to do blood work, tears began to well up in my eyes.
All the thoughts were swirling, of all the possibilities of what it could be. I felt so alone in that moment more than I have in a long time. The only words I could muster up in prayer were, "God I can't do this alone. Please just don't let me go through this alone."
It started last week when I found the "lump" on my lower right rib cage. I began asking questions to people who might know. I wasn't really too concerned thinking that it was probably in my head. However, a few days later, I started to feel a little pain.
Yesterday, was the worst of it and made me start thinking maybe something is wrong. I fell on the ground in the morning in so much pain, I thought I might have to go the emergency room, but then I thought about all of the teachings I had been hearing from Bethel church of all the healings! I began to take authority and rebuke the pain in the name of Jesus.
The Lord gave me enough strength to get up and start the day. I prophesied, "I will get up! I will go to work and this will not steal my day!" The Lord was gracious! I made the appointment for the doctor but of course they couldn't take me yesterday so today was the day.
I went in, and he said, "This lump is your liver. I believe it is enlarged. This concerns me." I was thinking, "Even appendix would be a better word than liver!" There you have it.
I am still in pain and my liver may possibly be swollen inside so it is hard to get around with ease. I took blood tests and I find out the results on Monday or Tuesday. The doctor is testing me for Hepatitis.
I am receiving prayer by the bulk so feel free to lift one up if you think about it. God is still good! I proclaim it! He has a plan and He is not nervous. I can trust in Him!
Please pray that this would result in nothing! There would be no Hepatitis and no complications! There would be no more pain in the name of Jesus! I love you all and I appreciate your support and concerns. Blessings!
Monday, December 15, 2008
"1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM.
6They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 8Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
You know recently, I have been hearing a lot of talk about the "Red" campaign (www.redcampaign.org). Their goal is to help with AIDS victims in Africa and as an organization they have stated how much they desire to help these children who have died from this vicious disease. It seems really noble and it seems like the Christian would and should want to participate. I mean after all, they are doing something for the society of the world right? How could this seem deceitful in the hour we are living in today?
Perhaps it is because they are offering a false sense of justice? They are offering freedom from sickness and salvation from an earthly perspective. Is this the true salvation that we know to be true? Paul clearly warned us of this in 2 Timothy 3:1-9 and described the conditions in the Last Days.
The passage that stands out to me the most is "They will have a form of godliness but deny its power." He then continues on to say "HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM." If that is not a clear enough sign to the Christians, those who know Jesus Christ to be the true Savior of all of creation, I don't know what would be a more clear sign. Should we as Christians be so quick to jump on this band wagon of the "Red Campaign" with Oprah Winfrey and all of her "noble" works and Bono and his "noble acts?"
In the previous chapters before 2 Timothy, you will find in Matthew 24:3-5 Jesus describes what will be happening the latter days. "As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. 'Tell us,' they said, 'when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?' Jesus answered: 'Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many.'"
I do not believe that this passage means most people will be coming up to us literally saying "I am the Christ." Although, maybe a few might try. I truly believe that this mainly means that people will be coming as one who can "Save." One who can be a "Savior" for our "Global Warming" problem or a president or organization who can "Save" the AIDS victims and those who are hungry in Somalia. Even better, what about a whole world in false unity with a false peace to "Save" the world and it's hunger problem! Brothers and sisters, if we do not offer the Kingdom of Heaven and preach Jesus Christ as the savior first, all of our efforts are humanistic and in vain. Without Jesus, there is no true justice, true peace, or true unity.
I promise you, if you set your gaze first upon Jesus and the glory of His splendor, He will begin to show you true justice. He is a God of justice. He cares about the orphan, He cares about the homeless, the hungry, the poor. He loves all people! However, we cannot bring true justice without preaching Christ as Lord and Savior first.
Therefore, we as Christians must take heed during this hour that we ourselves are not found deceived. In the last days there will be a great falling away as it is discussed in the book of Revelation, this means that many will be deceived by false truths and false doctrine with false prophets and false saviors. We must know the truth.
We can love the world, but that doesn't mean take part in what they are taking part of such as these false humanitarian projects. If an organization is not preaching Christ as Savior and offering a false sense of salvation then it says in the word, "HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM." I urge you as brothers and sisters in the Lord to pay attention in this critical hour what you choose to listen to, watch, read, and partake in.
May the Holy Spirit speak to us and open our ears to truth that we would discern the hour that we live and the urgency to know Christ and who He really is. May we prepare the way for the second coming of the Lord as John the Baptists in our day being willing with boldness, courage, and love to stand against the lies of the spirit of this age.
"Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming." Matthew 24:44
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Why do I run from sitting and receiving His love for me? These past few days of consecration have been wonderful and the presence of Jesus has been so precious and sweet to me. I don't want these days to end. I don't want to go back to business as usual. I want to live in His presence. I want to trust in Him always. I want to live a life of devotion to Him. I want the grace to live a fasted lifestyle.
What is it going to look like here in this place? Here it is so easy to have social gatherings and don't get me wrong, they are wonderful, but sometimes I have a hard time saying "no" and getting away with the Lord. God has called me to a wilderness right now and I so often have been fighting it lately.
What am I so afraid of? Why am I afraid for it to be just me and God alone? All He has to give me is love, peace, hope, and joy that is everlasting. Why would I not want that? Do I understand His heart? If I truly did, I wouldn't run from Him, but I would run to Him. I am tired of fighting the very One who is after my soul and the very One who can satisfy the depths of my heart.
Oh God I long to be with You. I just don't care where it is. Please come and do what You have to do to make that possible. I will go wherever You call. I will walk away from that which You are asking me to lay down. I will choose to go Your way even if it means the lonely road. I only ask that my heart would not be cold and would not be dulled to Your Spirit. I have to be with You. This is what I was made for!