Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Child Will Lead Them...

Have you ever noticed that children are usually happy just being? They just are. I love playing with kids because it reminds me that I have a capability of being carefree too. I had a good time yesterday playing with Hezekiah and Silas, children of some really good friends of mine.

We jumped, we danced, we twirled, we leaped, we crawled, and even played hide and seek. Whew! I didn't know I had that much energy in me! I felt like a kid again. Now, granted, when I woke up this morning, I sure didn't feel very young.

I felt 80 something with sore muscles, achy joints, and a wounded back! However, thinking back to those few moments I had with those little toddlers, reminded me that if I could just find my sense of childlikeness, how much more joy I would have! I could just be and be okay with that! Talking to Tanya Brasington was encouraging this afternoon as we ate lunch over an amazingly scrumptious bagel sandwich of hers.

She said, "Ya know, it's being content in every season of life that keeps you going and gives you a better perspective." She is sooo right! In the midst of every season, there is something to treasure. As a season ends, a new one is already beginning, and you never can be certain when each will end.

Shall I take the opportunity to learn as much as I can while I have the chance? There is a beauty to be found in a season of ease, or a season of hardship. What is it that God has for me to see and experience? Perhaps it's the children who can show me the way.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Annoyingly Sentimental...

Okay, so maybe I'm a little sentimental these days. Alright, so sue me! My best friend
just moved to Kansas City, my other friends are moving on Thursday, my other best friend left me on my birthday to go to Mexico, my other friend went to Minnesota, another really close roommate of mine went to India, and all in the same week as my 29th birthday. Oh, and did I mention, I am going to my 10 year High School Reunion in August?

Did I mention that I will be going
as one, single? You know like single cheeseburgers that you order at the McDonald's? "Yes I would like to order, not a double, but a SINGLE cheeseburger only!" I am not bitter, gosh I hope I do not sound bitter. Yes, I know that I am one AMAZING woman of God, so what's so bad about going to a high school reunion by myself? I tried to get my younger brother to go with me, but he is not willing to pay 50 bucks, (little cheap skate). Anyway, it is a mile marker year I tell you mile marker...

In closing, the other day as we were at yet another "See Ya Later" party with some of our friends sitting by the pool, I said out loud, "I should look at the sky more often." I was laying with my feet at the head of the pool chair and my head was laying where the feet belong just staring up at the sky. It was interesting the response I received after that comment. Robert Eiserloh: "That's why you get a sunroof! Those are nice!" James Hackney: "Why would you want to look at the sky here? You can't even see anything, no stars, no nothin." Johnny Sciara, "My car broke down once in the Everglades and as I got out to fix the problem, I saw the sky and it was so amazing that I just ended up sitting on the roof of my car for awhile staring at the stars. " It's interesting to see the different perspectives each of us have during different seasons of our lives.

Whether it be rain or shine, winter or spring, if I would just look up at the sky more,
or go see a mountain, I might be reminded that the cares of this life aren't as big as I think. There are things much bigger and much more important in life than the worries of the world. "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." The famous words from the most peaceful man that ever lived, Jesus Christ.

Anyway, all that to say, it's not too bad to think about your life once in awhile and the things that you should really be thankful for, but who will add an extra day to their life by worrying about it? Love the life God has given you, have a little peace, close your eyes, and just go to sleep. It's all gonna be okay, no really, it's all going to be okay.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Saying Goodbye Is Just Hard To Do...

Ya know recently, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life the past 28 years going on 29. (Wow...) I've specifically been remembering the past 5 years I have been here in Ft. Lauderdale. I've thought about all the people who have come and all the ones who have gone. God having a purpose, of course, for each person being in my life.

In days past, it was always easier for me to say goodbye if I was going somewhere else. Sure, I missed them at times, but usually, I was better able to cope if I thought I had another exciting journey ahead to a new destination. As a child, I moved every 2 to 3 years because of my dad's job and just get used to it.

I grew to enjoy moving after awhile. Now, however, I think about this week and my closest friends who are saying yet another goodbye. I've seen this time and time again, but something about these particular departures struck a cord in my heart. It's the people who are closest to me that I have the hardest time letting go. Sometimes there are those aquaintances and friends that you just let go of. However, these are different. They are my family.

Ironically enough, these same people are also the ones who heard me dreaming of my "call" to the nations and all the places I KNEW God would send me, but here we are today and they are off on their own adventures with the Lord. I am so happy and excited for them, but yet, I have to be honest, I feel left behind. Did I miss the boat? I just know I will go too, but why am I still here? In my mind, I just can't comprehend it.

Even James Hackney said to me Saturday at Mel, and the Weeks's going away party, "Ya know Kat, I thought we would be giving you one of these going away parties, but you're still here." I couldn't help but think, "Yeah, I am STILL here. What the heck? Why? Is there something wrong?"

In all of this, deep down inside of me, I know God is up to something. He's teaching me how to stop running away from the trials in life and escaping reality. I picture myself like the hamster. You know the one who is running, running, running on that spinning wheel, but getting absolutely no where!

I also liken the Lord to be like One who is keeping me on the wheel until I just stop running, rest, and trust Him. I also know, deep down inside, that He is making me face these fears of letting go to show me that I'm not abandoned or left behind. I haven't missed the Greyhound, but I'm right in the center of His will, painful as it may seem, and it is painful.

I have a friend who stays closer than a mother, closer than a brother, and He will never leave. These elementary teachings are so simple, yet so profound. How much do I truly walk them out in my day to day life? Yet, I have a hope and a glimpse of more understanding that God really loves me. The question, however, still remains, "When can I go Lord?" Then I hear a response deep within my soul, a still small voice say, "It's going to be okay, just breathe, I got this one."