Thursday, July 14, 2011

Another Storm...

As I sit and watch the dark clouds roll in with their ominous appearance, I feel the wind blow. It is the calm before the storm for the waters up ahead seem calm and their waves seem faint within the distance. In the stormy season, it is almost as if I feel at times, "Oh Lord, I cannot bear another storm." It seems this season has been more stormy than the others and it has taken me by surprise.

In these storms, I have felt more weak than I have ever felt. It's as if I have no fight left within me to stand yet again through it all. The storms have increased as my hope has been set upon another. As disappointment has come and tried to make a dwelling place, I have had to stand yet again, striving to believe.

I know that He is doing something within His master plan. For He is the Creator and all He does is perfect, righteous, and true. He is going to those deeper places that no one else can go. He is touching the deeper parts of my heart that no one has ever been before.

In it all, there is pain. For as He has journeyed these hidden places, they have felt tender to the touch. Many tears have come with this process. I have said to Him, "Come and have Your way! Take it all!" Then right after I have felt the thoughts of:  "Did I make a mistake? This is too much!"

Though the pain has seemed too great and my dreams haven't seem to come and the wait has felt too long, He has moved. He has made His victories even in my resistance. He moves. He breathes. He fights. He believes even when I don't.

Emotions can come with the storms I never thought I could feel. The questions have come and I have found no answers. When a God comes and transforms a fallen mind and heart, all of what you thought to be true gets shaken. Everything you thought you knew becomes destroyed. It becomes nothing but ashes burning to the ground.

Thankfully, after the dark of the storms have made their path, the morning always comes. The Son rises upon all that was once dark and shines the Light making way for Life to bloom again. How I long for that day. May it come quickly.

Friday, July 8, 2011

It's Only A Season...

In times of transition, we can lose our footing. It's almost like God lets us lose ourselves that we would find ourselves all over again. Some seasons you can become comfortable and there is an ease and a familiarity in it all.

Those seasons are almost like a sense of home where you can come and just rest. You know where all the bathrooms are located. You know where all the dishes are in the kitchen, including the cleaning supplies and trash bags. You know the junk drawers well and even exactly how long the junk has been in there!

Yet, in transition, your identity can be tested. The questions can rummage through your mind of: "Who am I really?" You don't know where anything is. You've never even seen this place before.

It's uncomfortable and, at times, your heart can't even comprehend what is actually happening. You feel like you're going crazy or, better yet, you think it's the devil. However, most of the time, it's God shaking what can be shaken in your heart so only He can remain. He shakes the things we are trying to identify ourselves with that are not of Him.

He will tear us down to build us back up. He has been known to do this all throughout the Bible and He's really good at it. I love the quote that Kristine Mueller sings: "Redemption is so much better than perfection." These words have riveted straight through my heart because God is not about us being perfect in our own strife, but redeeming us from ourselves! 

He wants to break us down that He can remake us. He wants to take away everything we have relied upon to make ourselves perfect in our own strength. He desires for only His fingerprints to remain that we would see His power.

Yes, we know the truth is that we have been made new in Christ. Yet, it didn't stop at salvation. No. He continues to make us new more and more everyday! He continues to strip off the old man making us more like Him!

So, as I speak to myself and you, take heart! If you are in a transitional season, this means there is movement. Movement means there is LIFE happening and it's happening all around you! It's time to rejoice for joy comes in the morning. Change is challenging but being made more into His image? Why not? Though it be painful at the time, it truly is worth it. Be encouraged, it's just a season.

Come and Have Your Way

Though the storm may surround me, I will not fear. The clouds may grow dark and low, yet I will not fear. In the chaos and confusion, you teach to me how to trust. When I cannot see ahead, You are my Light.

When I cannot hope, You breathe it in me. Though my head fall to the ground, You come and lift me up. You never give up on me. You never leave me. You never let me go. You are not a man that You should lie or turn from Your promises.

Your faithfulness stands firm forever. Your Word is eternal. In grief or sorrow, You understand. You know the pain for it is not unfamiliar. You are a God who comprehends the small and tender heart. You alone truly fight for it. You alone stay the same. You alone never change or are inconsistent.

You say it, You believe it, You do it, You are it, You live it, and You are. Why should I fear when the storms come my way? Let this wind blow where it may. I will stop fighting. I let go. You win. I give in. Just come and have Your way.

Come and take it all. For when I have sought my other lovers, they turned their backs on me but only You stayed. As I set my eyes on what lays before me, I only see You. I will not struggle. I will not hide. Where else can I go? Where else can I run? I have no other options. I choose You. Come and have Your way.