"He loves me, He loves me not, He loves me, He loves me not." Isn't this just how our life is in God? Pulling off the rose petals and hoping that the last petal we pull will be "He loves me!" We have such a hard time understanding that He does indeed love us! Over the past month, this is what God has been trying to show me over and over again. I guess I just have a hard time getting it.
I have been back in America for one week and wow what an adjustment it has been. Reverse culture shock and back to "real life" I guess you could say? It's been a few days, but I couldn't evade the last part of my journey to the Middle East. The last day of my trip was probably one of the most culminating parts of the whole time as the Lord revealed to me so much more of His heart.
I arrived at the airport to leave for Germany at 2:00 in the morning for an early flight and I felt prepared to say goodbye. However, when I arrived, I discovered that they had canceled the flight and were not going to be sending me to Germany that morning. I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach and prayed that the Lord would work something out. I was desperate!
Dan Wickwire translated these words for me from the woman at the desk, "There are no flights leaving directly from Germany to the U.S. until Tuesday, which is 4 days away, so you could spend a night in Germany later today, stay in a hotel, and fly out tomorrow morning to America."
Flustered, I responded with,"What? Oh man, I can't do that. I am by myself? I don't know the language and I don't have enough money to stay in a European hotel. I just don't know." Dan responded with, "What if they could pay for you to stay at a hotel?" That's where it all started, my next exciting adventure!
Therefore, we went back to Dan and Devri's house, I spent 3 more hours of sleep, awakened for one last Middle Eastern breakfast, and we left from there. I was thankful for that time with them for Devri prayed for me that God would cover me the whole time and give me wisdom on my next journey. She said, "If the devil can't get you coming over, he'll try to get you on the way home. Stay strong in the Lord."
So I was off on my way a few hours later than planned and was at the gate. Dan said goodbye to me and I took one last look. I found myself taking another last look at Dan and felt some comfort that he was there to make sure I was safe. I was also reminded of the whole trip feeling covered and protected the whole time. I was still a little fearful but asked the Lord if He would give me just one friend who spoke English to help me.
No later than 30 minutes, while I was waiting for our gate to open I saw a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and she kept looking at me and I kept doing the same thing with her. I guess we were trying to figure out if each of us spoke English. I then asked, "Do you speak English?" I was so relieved to find her next answer. "Yes, I do, you too!"
We quickly became acquainted with on another and talked for a long time. She happened to be from South Carolina and was living in Frankfurt, Germany with her husband, but she had been living in the Middle East for 4 months working with their government. She knew German and was going to be able to help me when I arrived at Frankfurt. I was thankful.
As if it could not have become better, this 3 hour flight to Germany became even more amazing! I quickly found my seat number and began to get settled in. I had an aisle seat and made myself a little more comfortable as is my usual routine on planes. I got my I-pod out and was ready to either sleep, or get enthralled into the "writing zone" of journaling while the music inspired the words to go forth!
In the midst of my "world," a young boy of about sixteen years tapped me on the shoulder. "May I ask where you are from?" he said. I quickly responded with a smile and thought the conversation would not go any further, however, it did!
I have to be honest, within myself, I was thinking, "God, can I please just be left alone for now, so that I can just have my own time to chill after an intense trip?" Yet, I felt the Holy Spirit saying to me, "You know that's not going to happen."
This is because just about every time I get on a plane, the Lord wants me to prophesy, pray, or minister to someone I am sitting by. I have a great history of seeing God move powerfully on planes. Why was I being so stubborn? Didn't I want to see God move? I was being a little selfish.
This boy began telling me his life story and opened up about some deep wounds he had for years. Why did he feel the need to share so much? I wondered, but I knew the Lord was highlighting something specific. God eventually gave me the opportunity to share.
After about the 5th time I saw this boy try to cover up the fact that he had tears in his eyes, I said, "You know, I hear all the pain you are facing." He said, "Yeah, I guess that's my life." I said, "No, that's not the rest of your life. I don't know what I would do without God in my life. I have faced trial after trial and without Jesus helping me, I couldn't do it. You can have this same hope and this same assurance."
He responded with, "I don't know if I believe in God. I go to a German school in the Middle East, and all of my teachers say that there is no God." I asked him the question, "What do you believe?" He said, "I don't know. I guess I am searching." I responded with, "You know if you ask the Lord to reveal Himself to you, He will? I promise you He will. He's real and I know Him."
His eyes were completely fixed on mine and I knew the Holy Spirit was working. It was one of those moments where there was no doubt if he was listening. I knew he was, and so it began. I said, "I want to prove to you that the Lord is real. Jesus speaks to me and He has already told me things about you and your life that, without Jesus, I wouldn't know these things."
I began to prophesy over him about the gift he had of being an artist and many other things. I told him, "You have nightmares don't you? They are pretty intense huh? The enemy is trying to steal from you, but the Lord has a plan and a purpose for your life. He has a plan for you to live and have joy, peace, and a future!"
With tears in his eyes, he said, "How do you know these things?" I said, "Because the Lord Jesus and because He loves you, I say these things to you today, this very moment." To be continued...
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