"One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple."
I have been pondering for a few days this thought: desiring One thing. I say that I want it, but yet I find myself giving way to the things of the world that fight for my attention every day. When I shut down the voices, it's almost as if I even find myself in opposition to those who are even Believers like myself.
Some people have even questioned my motives of wanting to get away with the Lord. In the past, I used to isolate myself and hide away for fear of connecting with people. What would they think about me if they truly knew me? Would they still like me? All of these kinds of thoughts used to consume my mind. At the end of the day, the only conclusions I came to were just lies.
Yet, I know that I have been healed of many of those deep wounds and today I find myself in a different place. I find myself more and more just longing for the "more" of God! At times, I have felt disconnected from Him and I just want to find that place again. You know, that deep secret place where nothing else matters but His Presence? In that place, the cares and worries of this life just fade away.
I have also recently discovered a place of tension in my own mind of this idea of a lifestyle of fasting and a season of feasting and celebration. They are two separate seasons and at times we can be called into one of the two.
Seasons can be a few months or just a few weeks. It doesn't matter how long, but what matters most is if we are hearing the voice of the Lord for ourselves on what He is calling us to do in this time and place.
Just last month, I was feeling it was a season of feasting and celebration for my personal life. Yet, as this year changed and we are entering into 2011, I am feeling sobered. I am feeling as if it is time to slow down, fast, and pray.
I am feeling like I need to silence all the other voices and shut it all down that I would only hear His voice. I want to know what He is saying in this season. I want to have my heart prepared for what He is bringing. I can only do this if I find myself in the quiet place with Him.
Many others are sensing some of the same things I am writing. They are feeling as if it is time to re-focus so that they may hear His voice. Everytime, I start fasting, I discover that God is truly much more satisfying than all of these "things" of the world. When I simplify my life, I can think more clearly. I can focus on the things that truly matter.
I believe that God is about to do something important in the Body of Christ. He is always moving, but He is doing something new and He wants His children to be prepared and ready to hear His voice that they would obey Him in this hour. I believe that it is critical we get our houses (or better yet our hearts) in order. I have an urgency in my spirit that we need to re-prioritize our lives to focus on Jesus and His ways.
It is so easy for the ways of this world to creep into our day to day lives. It is also easy to give way to that fear and surrender our hearts to it but I believe that God is pouring out the grace for us to turn away from those things and turn our eyes back to Him. I believe He is giving us the desire to only want the ONE THING. We have tasted and seen that the Lord is good and we WILL want Him.
So, here I am finding myself in this tension of discovering the definition of a LIFESTYLE of fasting as opposed to fasting every once in awhile. Am I ready to give some things up for life? If so, what are they? Are there things I need to totally surrender for life that I would receive the more from God and become completely satisfied in Him alone? These are the thoughts rummaging through my head this very night.
I just want God. I want more. There has to be more. There is more. He has more for me. All I have to do is ask and He will give it to me. All I have to do is set my gaze on Him and He will open my eyes to a new revelation of who He is.
All I have to do is listen for His voice because He is always speaking straight to my heart with exactly what I need to hear. This season, I have to do what I have to do to get the more. Others may not understand why, but the only voice that matters right now is His for I am walking with Him. Come Lord Jesus.