What is it when you get in these places in life where you don't really feel that much? Yet, at the same time, you know something big is happening all around you. The past few days have been so crazy, I haven't had time to process them really. Part of me has been avoiding the "process" part of it. I get tired of thinking sometimes, don't you?
Sometimes we can think ourselves away into misery. Must we analyze everything? I think there is a way we can just be at peace knowing He has it all under control. Not that I have reached that level perfectly yet, but I want to believe that He is working all of these things out for our good.
Recently, I have been faced with the doors being shut on all my past mistakes. I was faced with a choice of shutting the doors or leaving them open only to prolong this process. Those doors regarded relationships and other issues the Lord was highlighting in my heart. They were painful to revisit and painful to shut but, never the less, they were closed.
As I sit here listening to Priscilla Ahn's "Dream," I am reminded that there are dreams in my heart that I have never shared with anyone because I never truly believed they were possible.
Now that all of these doors are closed and I am off to a new start, I almost feel like there are not only dreams I have held onto for so long that are coming, but I feel like new dreams are on the way. I feel like there are dreams coming that I have never even thought of before.
This is quite the strangest feeling, but I feel now that the doors are truly closed, I don't even want to go back to them anymore. For the first time in my life I feel like there is truly a blank, clean slate and a whole new page of life to start. It's kind of scary and exciting all at the same time.
I feel like it took a lot of courage to get to this place too and I feel the love of the Father looking at me with a sense of pride and joy. For the first time, I actually feel His smile over my life and His joy in what He has for me.
Let's let go of the things of the past and truly move on. Let's stop letting things hold us back from what God has for us today. There are many things we won't understand and in this world we will have many troubles, but take heart, for He has overcome them all. Today is going to be a good day and this year of 2010 will top the charts. I believe it.
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