There are so many things happening as of late, I am having a hard time catching up. God is doing so much in so many people's lives at such a rapid pace. However, the past few days of setting aside my time to rest, I have felt the Lord so much more than ever. Why do I run from resting?
Why do I run from sitting and receiving His love for me? These past few days of consecration have been wonderful and the presence of Jesus has been so precious and sweet to me. I don't want these days to end. I don't want to go back to business as usual. I want to live in His presence. I want to trust in Him always. I want to live a life of devotion to Him. I want the grace to live a fasted lifestyle.
What is it going to look like here in this place? Here it is so easy to have social gatherings and don't get me wrong, they are wonderful, but sometimes I have a hard time saying "no" and getting away with the Lord. God has called me to a wilderness right now and I so often have been fighting it lately.
What am I so afraid of? Why am I afraid for it to be just me and God alone? All He has to give me is love, peace, hope, and joy that is everlasting. Why would I not want that? Do I understand His heart? If I truly did, I wouldn't run from Him, but I would run to Him. I am tired of fighting the very One who is after my soul and the very One who can satisfy the depths of my heart.
Oh God I long to be with You. I just don't care where it is. Please come and do what You have to do to make that possible. I will go wherever You call. I will walk away from that which You are asking me to lay down. I will choose to go Your way even if it means the lonely road. I only ask that my heart would not be cold and would not be dulled to Your Spirit. I have to be with You. This is what I was made for!
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