Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Sudden Inspiration To Dream Again...

So I have suddenly become inspired to write. After an amazing movie I watched with good friends called "Julie and Julia," I felt as if I received a gust of wind in my lungs and words came rushing to my head like a great waterfall. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I was in this amazing discussion with the girls after it was over, but I couldn't fight off the urgency in my heart to write!

My heart was pounding and my chest felt tight, but in a good way. I had to leave. I got in the car to go and I put the pedal to the metal harder than I ever have in awhile! I couldn't seem to get home fast enough. The blasted red lights stopped me every five minutes which is so common here in South Florida, but I set my face like flint to the finish line: HOME.

I was not going to let ANYTHING get in my way. Not even my meowing cats who greet me everyday at the garage. NO, my white little Toyota was going to hit the drive way and I was going to make it to my room in front of my computer in record time, no doubt. I felt like such a fool running past the girls in the living room as they were watching their movie, but in the moment, I just couldn't help myself!

When I was driving and the words were rushing through my brain, I thought, "What shall I write about?" "What do I really have to say?" Now as I sit here in front of my computer with the sounds of chattering keys on the keyboard, I find myself at a loss for words to convey what I am feeling!

Oh my friend if I could truly write about what I am REALLY thinking sometimes, I would. However, in my position, I don't have the luxury or freedom to spout off my mouth just to ease my mind. It doesn't come so easily for me, but ONE DAY, I tell you, I will publish a book and it will reveal some of my thoughts and what I REALLY think at times. That day is not here and it will probably be when I am gone, but until then, I am left with subtle hints and "putting a lid on it" to state it bluntly.

Usually, I find myself inspired with the sounds of the "Pride and Prejudice" soundtrack resounding in the background, but lately, I have discovered my inspiration coming from the sounds of a foreign land in the Midde East. The sounds of traditional music there move my heart to see pictures and nations and oh sooo many things.

I long to see the world and, one day, I am going to write about all of my adventures. I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic. I just have been reawakened to one of the many dreams in my heart that has been there for a long time. Out of many of them, it is to be a WRITER. Perhaps, no one will ever read what I am writing even now. Perhaps no one cares. Yet, I feel in my heart that SOMEONE will and SOMEONE will be inspired to go after their dreams.

Oh to dream again, is all I keep feeling for this season. Despite all of the odds against me in this moment, all of the decisions that need to be made, and all of the deadlines that have to be met, I feel a desire to not lose hope of my dreams.

I, Mary Katherine Conolley, am 30 years old and feel a sudden burst of confidence to dream as BIG as I possibly can, and I suddenly feel that most of them, if not all, WILL be accomplished by God's grace of course. I feel this so strongly right now that I have to write it down for the world to see so I will have no excuse of not remembering! 'Tis the season to come alive again. Until tomorrow my friend. God's speed.

1 comment:

Fernanda said...

You have inspired me :)