Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Meltdown...

So just when you think, you have it all together, God raises the temperature a little. In just a matter of an hour, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong in the office today. There was no one to help me either. By this, I mean printing off contribution receipts, printers breaking, toners needing to be replaced, trying to print one thing and someone makes copies using your special paper you had just placed in the printer, not being able to find the right toner or knowing if we had any at all.

I knew something was wrong when I began to hit the printer and yell at it, as if it could somehow respond to me with the right answer. "Come on, what is wrong with you?" I finally reached my limit after almost kicking the copy machine in the copy room to shreds only to realize to myself, "Wow, I believe we have reached the meltdown." "Here we are, so what now?" This, in turn, led me to have a long talk with God. I fell to the floor in the copy room, flat on my back just staring at the ceiling. That's all I could do was just stare at the light and talk to God. "Why the heck is this happening God? What's the lie I am believing? Where did this come in? What's the truth?"

You know, I have done so many deliverance sessions, that now I can do it on myself right? Sure enough, God showed me very clearly in just a matter of a few seconds. All it took, was me, laying down and stopping it all. I had to shut it all down, or completely shut down, one or the other. Once God showed me the root of all that anger coming out of nowhere as it sometimes does right? At least, we try to tell ourselves that it came out of nowhere. No, no, my friend, it came from somewhere and something that has been in your heart for a looooong time! He was faithful to show me.

I liken the Lord in my life right now as a Potter and he is daily pushing, prodding, molding, taking apart, mashing, and well, let's be honest, just adding pressure after pressure in my life! Despite how painful it is, He has a goal in mind: for me to look like Him, smell like Him, and be like Him. He has a goal for me to talk like Him and walk like Him. The pressure is a sign that He is working in me an eternal weight of glory within these momentary, light afflictions. Therefore, take heart! Why so downcast oh my soul? Put your hope in God. Be still my soul, be still and know that He is God. These few phrases remind me that even the man after God's own heart had meltdowns! It's a sign that Jesus is near and He is working and He is very close.

I will say it was pretty humorous when Justin Jarvis, walked into the copy room and found me laying there on my back just staring away! "What are you doing?" He asked. I just replied with a calm, "Don't ask." It had to happen, it just had to happen.

All that to say, the day ended much better.
The Lord came in power in our worship time in the service tonight and we ended up closing it in corporate prayer at our new building we are moving to April 12th. We wrote prophetic words on floors that will be completely redone and we prayed over it. Someone even played the trumpet looking instrument and it was amazing! God really showed me that this is a season of sending out as we leave this "hospital as it once was" of healing at The Forum building we have been in for 3 years. It's time to send them out as we move out. It's just an exciting time, and it's not about me! What a relief!

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