Here With Me Now

"Just knowing You're here with me now. It changes everything. Just knowing You're here with me now. It changes everything Lord."

"I thought that I had to make it on my own, but You stopped that and claimed me as Your own. You called me Yours."

"So don't give up on me now. I need You strong when I'm weak. Hold on and believe in me when my heart just can't figure out what it wants. Please give me a reason to trust You'll still fight for me."

"Just don't give up on me now cause I'm scared and I need You strong when I'm weak. Hold on and believe in me when my heart just can't figure out what it wants. Please give me a reason to trust You'll still fight for me." 

-Laura Hackett "Here With Me Now"

It's Just Around The River Bend...

Trials and circumstances can sometimes seem overwhelming. Sometimes you feel like you will never overcome them and then the morning comes. The sun rises again and shines it's beautiful light through your window. These hard times can seem as if you are moving down a river looking for your destination.

It seems as if your boat cannot move fast enough or you cannot seem to move your oars hard enough through the water. It seems as if you've been searching for this destination forever.

You've almost lost your strength and you feel as if you cannot lift your arms anymore. Yet, just as you thought you couldn't go one more inch, you see a glimpse of land. You see your resting place at a distance. You see your home. Suddenly, it's the breakthrough right before you.

You've been asking for it. You have pressed in for it. You have tried with all your might to believe. Now it stands right before you. It was just around the river bend. You didn't know it until you saw it but the day has finally arrived. It is here. Your victory has come.

Journey Of A Lifetime...

Romans 8: 19
"Creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

This is my call and this is my journey. My portion is Your inheritance and all that is Yours belongs to me. You are my Father and I will be found Your daughter forever.

Make Room...

Make room for the King.

Pave the way for His coming.

Silence the other voices.

Tear down these idols.

Do what you have to do.

Have the courage to stand.

Make the bold declaration,

For He alone reigns.

No other voice shall be heard,

For He roars like a lion through the land.

He is fully God and fully man.

Who can compare to His greatness?

There will be none to defeat Him.
Not one will take His place.

He shall last through the ages never to depart.

He will remain when all have faded away.

Simplicity...

I long for the more of You God and I will go the way You desire. I will take the simple way of life to find You. Just show me the way and give me the courage to go. I love You Lord and I long to hear Your voice.

My Salvation...

I am trying to cross these hills. I am trying to reach the top. Sometimes, I wonder if there will ever be a reprieve. Yet, I look to the hills because someone once told me that it is where my Salvation comes from. Someone once said that my Salvation would come riding upon those hills and in an instant would reveal Himself.

I once heard that He would come back for what belongs to Him. He would not relent for His love was a jealous flame that could not be quenched. I heard that His eyes of fire would consume me with His love and I would be rescued. They said I would be found in Him and I would be perfected in His love. Now, as I climb these hills, His joy is becoming my strength. My vision is His Presence.


At times, I have needed to rest. I have needed to breathe and sit down awhile. I have, at times, tried to give up because my strength was no more. I even tried to turn around and go back to where I came from. Yet, now on this journey with You God, what other options have I but to be where You are? I have looked back, but You have turned my head towards the goal. You see the end in sight. You see this greater picture and I see a glimpse.


Therefore, I choose to believe You. I choose to trust in Your hand that is holding onto me and not letting me go. This journey with You is for eternity but these momentary trials are only temporary. History is being made of this love You have for me and my faith in You. These tears are filling up your bottle and will overflow as a beautiful river washing away all the pain.

I will choose to draw near to You. I will choose to stay here with You. I will dance again. I will sing again and I will sit at Your feet and find the rest I've been waiting for my whole life. You are the One I want. You are the One I need. You are my Salvation.

My Strength

"You are the strength of my heart. You are the strength of my heart and my Portion forever and ever."

These Beautiful Ashes...

"For today will bring tomorrow and the once familiar sorrow will turn and testify to yesterday." -Andrew Ehrenzeller from "Your Beauty Is What Remains."

I cannot begin to tell you how much these words penetrate straight to my heart in this season.  I so long to leave the past behind and move on. I long to forget about the hurts and the wounds and put them aside as if they never happened.

Yes, the Lord restores. Yes, He redeems, but there is somehow beauty in my struggle and there is somehow beauty in that pain I suffered. Jesus finds it captivating in His sight. This is a marvelous mystery. He can turn them into beauty and He receives glory to the utmost because of how He turns it all around.

Why is it that we get healed of wounds only to find ourselves in the same place again? I have been thinking about this lately. Perhaps, He is going even deeper still.  He is reaching further into the levels that we couldn't go in another season.

He knows how much we can handle and if He dealt with all of our pain, we would die. In His mercy, He takes His time with us. He is patient with our hearts. I am amazed at His goodness and gentleness to do this with the ones He loves.

Holy Spirit come and touch every place of my heart. Come and make the wrong things right. Come and turn these tears of brokenness into tears of joy. For You make all things beautiful.

New Mercies...

His mercies are new every morning. Though yesterday seemed to crumble right before you, it is now said and done. Today, He pours His new mercies over you and your heart like a beautiful water fall. It refreshes your soul and gives you hope to continue on with this new day. Behold, He makes it all new.

True Love...

What is this love?

Who is this Lover of my soul?

Who is this One who seeks after my heart?

Why do You long for me?

Increase my capacity to receive Your love.

Show me how to have courage.

Show me how to see as You see.

For Your ways are good.

Your ways are pure.

Only You satisfy.

You will woo me until I can rest.

You will guide me into truth.

You will lead me into Your peace.

You will not let me go.

Your love stays constant.

You never change.

You relentlessly pursue.

You are unashamed of my doubt and unbelief.

You stay the course until I can finally see.

The Hiding Place...

"Every time I lose it, I lose it my way, but You're the one that helps me find it. I find it Your way." This quote is from Dave Fitzerald's new album called Hope of Heaven. This one part is sung by Chris McClarney, and it penetrates right to my heart. This song has been on repeat in my head over the past few days and God is speaking to me through these words as I repeat them over and over.


The song is called "Good." The truth is He is the one that leads me to find "it" His way when I have lost it going my way. You see, over the past few weeks I have been through another battle and almost at the end of this multiple year struggle. That is, the battle for my identity as a daughter.


As I sit here today in my office not knowing what to do and feeling so uncomfortable to not be doing anything regarding ministry tonight, it's a strange feeling. "You have the night off from singing," Justin told me on Wednesday, a day that I am quite familiar with practicing for the week end, week out Friday night service with our Church. I have been doing this for about 7 years now. Yet, every time I find myself getting a "break," I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I have felt somewhat useless.

Can I be content with being a daughter and be okay with that? What if I never sang ever again? What if I never traveled to another country again? Would I be okay?

Another  question that was asked of me this week from one of my leaders was, "Why are you truly here?" I know the correct answer in my head. Yet, sometimes my heart doesn't get it. The answer: "God has me here. He has called me to this city and He has a purpose and a plan for my life here." However, my heart, at times, has felt other things. It has sometimes forgotten why I am here. It has sometimes forgotten the vision of why God brought me here in the first place.


It has been a 7 year long up and down roller coaster. At times, I have felt the wilderness like no other time in my life. I have even felt like God has forgotten about me. I have felt like He brought me here just to leave me behind.

Yet, looking back on all of it now, I see that it was Him who was here. He's been here the whole time. He never left me. In fact, within all of these woundings in ministry and all of these disillusionments, I have seen His goodness like none other time.

I have seen His faithfulness even in the pain. There have been wrong choices and bad mistakes that have left me on my face and on my knees, but I'm still alive. I survived. I am still breathing. I overcame and I'm still here!


He has been here. He, in fact, has saved me from myself. He has saved me from the "could've beens" and I am thankful. One day, I will understand all of this even more and I will see exactly why He has done what He did. I can't wait until that day, but until then I want to choose to trust Him.

So here I sit, longing at times to rest and not be seen at all. Here I sit, with a desire at times to be hidden away and go unnoticed so that I can finally be the observer instead of being seen by everyone else.

Here I sit, with God giving me a gift of just resting and being a daughter. He's pleased with me in this place! I don't have to earn His favor or the favor of men because of my works or giftings! I can be free to be me.  So here I sit, in the hiding place. I will find it Your way Father.