Like I've said before many times, the struggles you have right now, you take with you wherever you go. You can even fly to another country, but that doesn't mean your problems will disappear. I know this sounds daunting and very un-optimistic as opposed to my other posts. This trip has been amazing and full of joy and new adventures.
However, as I sit here this night in my little room in the basement looking out the small window at the moon, I realize how disconnected I have felt from the Lord with these same issues that have faced me for years. I can't run away from them as they are even in my dreams. Do not be discouraged, these issues are issues of my heart that the Lord is trying to highlight in me. Yet, in my dreams, He is reminding me that I have to deal with them face to face even in a far away land.
I also said, previously, that I felt this was going to be a trip where the Lord was going to heal me in many ways. Maybe not in the ways I was even expecting, but I know He is healing, most importantly, my heart. I had a precious moment with the Lord tonight and just talked with Him about things that I have been asking for throughout many years. There are deep things I have been longing for even regarding healing in my body.
"Lord, I have asked you to heal me before and I have cried over these issues for many years. Will you not come? Are you not faithful?" I said to the Lord. I thought about even the men throughout the Bible who petitioned the Lord over and over again about their issues and He even said no a few times. Yet, the friends of God persisted and kept asking. I thought, "Why not me? Lord, I am Your friend and I am asking again in hopes You will respond."
Ali Amja has prophesied over me two times on this powerful trip and both times were great. However, the second one was the most incredible to me. During a prayer meeting last week, Ali came up to me specifically and laid his hands on my head.
Just that very night, I wanted to ask for prayer, but didn't have the guts to open my mouth. Speaking in his language, Josh translated it all for me. I am telling you that the very thoughts I had in my head that evening, Ali petitioned the Lord for! I could not believe it! God cared enough for me to hear those words from Ali so that I could be encouraged in this place of waiting!
I have a purpose here to serve this family, this I know, but at the same time, God is surprising me in these very rare, quiet moments, like right before I go to bed. Wham! Jehovah Sneaky will throw His sneak attack and meet with me in a profound way! I have to be honest, my times with the Lord have been very Brother Lawrence like and I've had to practice the presence of God even in the busiest days with the children.
I feel Him in cleaning poopy diapers, cleaning up chili off of a one year old little boy's face, trying to break up fights over toys, etc. Practicing the presence of God is something I am used to doing here, but I am missing the quiet times with the Lord where I can just get a good cry in and let it all out. I picture myself just crying on His shoulder and letting Him love on me.
All this to say, the Lord met with me tonight and He didn't tell me I need to fast more, or pray more, or read the Word more. No, He told me that He loved me. Very simply, "I love you Mary Katherine and you are worth the good gifts I have for you." Even as I type this, I feel His presence so strongly and I am being brought to tears yet again. It's those simple words from Him alone that can heal any soul. I pray I may abide in His love all my days and I pray you will do the same. Blessings from the Middle East.
I saw Jesus today. You know He dwells inside of each of us if we know Him and His Spirit is always moving. He moves all over the world. I saw Him touch a young girl whose mother had a brain injury and has been in a coma for one month now. It was her first time entering into a Christian church. I also saw tears stream down her face as she met Him for the very first time. It was a miracle I saw with my very own eyes.
I also saw a grandmother searching for healing for her daughter and seeking Jesus, the only One who can truly heal. I saw Him move in her life. She was on a quest to find hope, true hope, the hope that will last and not fade away. In the midst of her search, I saw with my eyes, her demeanor change with the love of God surrounding her. She felt something different and it was noticeable to all.
I saw Jesus as I helped with singing worship songs in another language and didn't know how to do it. I saw Him as He gave me the words to sing and the ways to sing them. I felt Him as we sang praises to His throne in a language foreign to me, but not to Him. We were one in that place.
I saw Jesus in the midst of the congregation as we longed to meet with Him. Truth is, however, He has always desired to meet with us even more so. I've seen Him here. I see Him everyday as I meet someone new in this country. I see Him in this nation and I feel His heart for these people. I am in awe of His faithfulness and that He, the Creator of all things, would desire to meet with me, to meet with us. He is good.
We took a stop by the "Seven Sleepers" ruins where there is a story that 7 Christian martyrs were murdered and buried, but when people came to uncover the graves, the people rose from their graves and were resurrected from the dead! There are no bones in those graves and there is proof!
We finally made it back to our village where we were staying and finished our evening with a stroll through town and a little shopping! Of course in every store we stopped in, it was always a long process. The sellers invite you in for tea, get to know you, and hope you will give them some business as well. The last place we went to was a rug shop where we were greeted by a man in his twenties who worked with his brother.
They talked us into having some tea and a "chat" and tried to talk us into buying a rug. It was too expensive for me! Once they realized we weren't going to buy, they relaxed and started up conversation. The youngest brother played the folk guitar for us and sang a folk song for my trusty webcam. It was VERY entertaining to say the least! He proposed to me a few times before we left, jokingly, of course. It was just good fun!
We ended the day back at the hostel to get rest for another well-deserved, restful day! Tomorrow, we plan on drinking tea, walking, sitting, chatting, meeting new people, drinking more tea, and sitting even more! What a day! I love it here! Did I mention, that I love it? Blessings and stay tuned for more stories...
I am falling in love with the Middle East! Last night, the power went off as it frequently does here so it was somewhat difficult to pack for our next destination. I was somewhat fearful if I would awaken on time to make it to our plane. However, thanks to the 6 a.m. Call to Prayer the Muslims have here, I awakened just in time to pack my suitcase and discover that the power had been recovered in the house! I had a good 45 minutes to pack and pull my hair back for another adventure!
Julie and I barely made it in time for our plane and got there 5 minutes before our plane was due to take off! When we arrived to Ephesus and the jet plane landed, I had a feeling that this was going to be another exciting trip of new experiences! I was right! This day was a day to rest from the children and to just chill out! We landed not having a reservation for a hotel or anything, but we took a taxi to another city which then led us to another bus that led us to a cute little village near Ephesus that I have fallen in love with!
It was love at first sight for sure! Let me also say the bus ride was absolutely beautiful and the people here love Americans! We got way more stares than usual and many people tried to talk to us in English to get to know us. Everyone I have met has been so friendly! A day that was expected to thunderstorm all day, ended up becoming a day full of sunshine, cool breezes, and warmer weather!
This place was surrounded by mountains and I absolutely could not take my eyes off of them! It turned out that this was an off season and not many tourists were in our part of town. When we arrived from our bus ride, we were greeted by many men trying to sell us bus tickets speaking to us in broken English trying to "get to know us."
I had a backpack, my camera bag, and a suitcase to haul around town until we found the perfect place to rest for the night. We walked across the street from the bus station and found the cozy little hostel where we could sleep that was great! We were greeted by three brothers who spoke English with Australian accents because many Aussies visit this part of town quite often. It was really interesting. They gave us our price which was reasonable for 2 people so we decided to stay!
Besides the freezing cold water in the shower, the place was a hit for us and it was my first experience staying in a hostel. Pretty fun! Afterwards, the manager of the hostel wanted to escort us through the town to show us a great place to get a quick bite to eat. We ended up eating Doners (sandwiches that are rolled up in soft pita bread with meat and cheese depending on how you get it) at a cute little cafe on the corner.
Our new friend ended up eating lunch with us as well and then escorted us to our driver who drove us to Ephesus. It is one of the oldest cities in the world and it is where the Apostle Paul preached and got the boot in the famous Coliseum which we got to see firsthand. These ancient ruins were stunning! It was also incredible being able to walk down marbled streets that had been around for about one thousand years!
In addition to the Coliseum, we saw one of the ancient library ruins as well. We also had a guide to walk us through so he taught us many things regarding the history. The tour ended with us going through the ancient ruins of the very first church in the city called "The Church of Mary." What a fun name! This place was surrounded by majestic mountains as well and I couldn't help but rejoice at the Lord's goodness for all that He had done in this place!
After a long trek through the ruins, we built up quite an appetite and were ready to eat some more food! We discovered a restaurant nearby with a table on the ground and cushions all around. I think we were the only people who weren't smoking in that place, but I just breathed through my mouth and tried not to smell it.
They gave us more pita bread sandwiches that came fresh out of their stone oven. It was yet another amazing meal! I have also yet to be disappointed by anything I've eaten so far! Blessings and stay tuned for part 2 of vacation time in Ephesus...
As I sit here on the porch of Josh and Julie's home, I feel a sense of home away from home. It is a cool day of about 50 degrees and the sun is shining on an unusually sunny day. The neighborhood is quite peaceful and the neighbors are older. It is isn't often you find too many children playing in the streets although a few boys walking two by two pass by every now and then speaking the native language that is quite foreign to me here.
There are many black birds on the roofs of houses chirping quite loudly as if they were begging for their next meal. Every once in awhile, a stray cat runs by on a quest for it's next feast in the trash. They are unusually fat here, which leads me to assume they have plenty of scraps to eat. Across the street, I see a woman on the top floor of her home laying clothes on the clothes line to dry. She keeps the door open for a bit of fresh air because it is a day of great weather.
The older neighbor De De takes a stroll through the neighborhood smoking his cigar and examining other people's yards which is of high importance here. The wind is softly blowing through the air and with the sun on my face, it doesn't feel as cold as it could be. The calm breeze is somewhat comforting to me. In the distance, I hear the sounds of cars and buses transporting people to and fro as they leave from work to head home.
The black, rot iron gates implanted into cement walls show a sense of security. However, one doesn't feel like they need it here. People can go as they please through the gates. I am in the midst of a peaceful people who have a love for their yards, the way their homes look, and a love for people. They are a warm, friendly people who value relationships. This is somewhat foreign to me as of late because of my neighborhood in America.
I have to admit, it is a wonderful feeling being away from all of that for awhile. I prefer the sounds of a quiet, peaceful neighborhood, with a loving, giving people as opposed to ones who are loud and obnoxious. Just being honest for a moment if I may take the liberty. It's refreshing here and I am beginning to imagine what life would be like if I had the chance to live here. It is a somewhat modern city that is full of Muslims who need Jesus but at the same time peaceful.
Granted, the sounds of the call to prayer from the Mosque is a common occurrence here, but I feel the love of God here. I feel the Holy Spirit's desire to woo these people unto Himself. What would my life be like? It is peaceful here, but at the same time very difficult for women as they are not as respected here. It is a man's world here and it would be a huge transition.
I can't help but ask the question, "God would you have me be here for a season some day?" I am not saying that it's anytime soon, but I feel that there may be a chance some day down the road. Many of you who know me, know that within me is an adventurer and a traveler. I want to see the world in seasons, not just moments. I hate going in and out of countries and not truly getting a sense about it all, the people, the food, the language.
How can you just leave after 2 days and feel satisfied? There is so much more to experience! Only the Lord knows where I will be next. I love Josh, Julie, and Ali Amja! I can't imagine a better, more solid team to be a part of than this team that is already connected to LIGHT International in the Middle East.
I was able to spend some good time with Ali's family today and it was so amazing! We had a real traditional Middle Eastern breakfast with a lot of bread, tomatoes, cheese, and olives. Their son arrived from college as he has been away for a long time so they were celebrating and wanted me to come with Josh and Julie. It was different this time because their son speaks more English than the others in the family so I actually got to have a few conversations with him.
He is also a really good worship leader so he played the guitar and we all sang together with the other 2 children of Ali's. It was a great way to connect with all of them. Their son is very charismatic and different than most of the guys here.
He is going to school for accounting but has a heart for leading worship too. He finishes in May. It's very rare for people to go to college here so it's a true privilege for his whole family. I really enjoyed meeting him and finally felt more connected with the family as I am understanding more words!
Later on, Ali requested for me to play the guitar and sing for them. I asked him, "In English?" He then said, "Of course, just bring us into the presence of God, it doesn't matter what language." So I played for them a few songs and again I felt the Holy Spirit in that room. After I finished, Ali prophesied over me again and I couldn't help but have tears well up in my eyes.
He just encouraged me to keep worshiping and never stop no matter what I feel. I really needed to hear that more than he knows. He also said, "It's not about how well you play the guitar, just keep doing it." I always feel so encouraged when I am around him.
Like I said, I guess it is the Father heart of God that touches my heart through him every time. I truly feel like this family is quickly becoming my own. When Josh took a family picture of all of them, they even included me in one of their pictures! I feel so loved by them.
Next week, we are going to do the worship time at the Conference here at the church and Josh is going to lead the time. I am going to help him along with Ali's son and so I'm really excited about what God is going to do. I found out later that a lot of people were touched by the Lord when I sang the song the other day at Church. I felt truly encouraged by this! Blessings to you! Please also keep me updated with your lives as well. Stay tuned...
Better yet, "on the spot." This is something that happened to me today. I was put on the spot to sing and play the guitar at Josh and Julie's church service which was a little intense. Granted, the church is small and not very many people go there, but still, my heart was racing. I was supposed to help Josh with worship today but I didn't feel comfortable singing the words in the language they speak here. Josh and I practiced the songs this week, however, I still didn't feel ready.
Ali knew all of this yet He felt from the Holy Spirit that I was supposed to sing anyway. In the middle of worship while Josh was singing, Ali asked me through the translation of Julie if I would sing a song in English. When Julie asked me, I have to be honest, my heart felt like it sunk to the bottom of my stomach! I was so nervous in front of all of them, but I said yes. Right before Ali was to give his teaching, it was my turn to sing. I decided to play and sing one of the few songs I've ever written called "Adam." The rest is history!
The Lord also reminded me while I was up there of a few words in the language that they speak here so I used a few of those words as well. I felt the presence of the Lord really strongly and a few people were crying. Josh translated this song in the language here and I am in the midst of practicing it. As soon as our conference begins next week, I hope to know it with much more proficiency. I am still pretty nervous about singing it completely in this language, but I really want to help the people go to the deeper places in God in their language. This certainly is a big challenge for me.
After the church service we ate a big lunch together with everyone and it was very good. I am starting to understand more sentences as opposed to a few words here and there. I am also having a better understanding when someone asks me a question which means there is progress! I'm still anticipating many more great things here and God is showing me so much! I love Him and I love it here! Blessings!
I know I drive many of my friends and family crazy with all of my video recording, blog writing, and picture taking, but ya know...if it's a moment in life, why not take note? I don't want life to pass me by and forget all the amazing things God has done. Each moment is worth recording because it's a moment you can learn something new if you are willing to be teachable.
I am definitely taking lots of notes here and was about to head to bed when I couldn't help myself and had to write. I hesitated thinking, "I write too much. Does anyone even read this stuff? They will think I'm one of those over passionate writers." Then I thought more about it and figured, "Who cares?" I am not writing mostly for you. Though, you are reading these words if you've made it this far and I thank you for taking an interest. However, I am actually writing for myself to be able to, in the future, reread these noted moments in time and see what a Mighty God we serve.
Each moment is a gift from the Lord and each time we take a breath or feel our own heart beat, we should be thankful. We should be thankful for life because God is the great Life Giver. However, if you can be touched through the recorded moments in my life then you can join with me in being thankful to Him as well. I have said this before, but I have nothing to hide. The things I want to keep private, I do, trust me, I do, but my life is an open book! Why not?
I often wonder about those people who are too private. You know the ones I am talking about. I wonder if it's because they have been wounded that they don't want to disclose more information about themselves. Are they afraid of what people might think if people really knew who they were? Why should we be afraid? Each of us is an integral part of touching the world with God's love. Our lives are worship to Him and for Him, so let's shine! Blessings and stay tuned!
I wanted to give you a more personal video update about my time here. Perhaps you will have a better understanding of my purpose in coming to this country and what I hope to achieve while I am here by God's grace. Love you guys and stay tuned...
Aaahhh...I have found a moment of time alone and the house all to myself! I am loving my time here, but haven't had too much time alone. As an introvert at heart, I need more time than most people by myself. I love people, but I definitely need time to be rejuvenated, to write, to think, and to just be. Where do I begin? Wow, there is so much to reflect on these past few days.
Time here has flown by and there are so many new things to discover. My brain is like a sponge just soaking every moment in every chance I get. I keep pinching myself in unbelief that I have the amazing opportunity to be here. I am falling in love with this place and am so hungry. At home, I don't find much time to just sit still and learn new things. I feel like I am always, "Go, go, go!" I just want time to sit and learn! This is why I am so thankful to be here.
My heart is opening as if it were once a "garden locked up..." as the Word says in Song of Solomon. Just today, I had an idea of writing a children's book similar to the "Dora the Explorer" books. Yet my book would have more of an emphasis on languages all around the world, specifically more difficult ones. The characters would also travel to amazing countries and would be from many places.
It appears that I am being awakened again to my love for children. This doesn't mean I will be in the children's ministry any time soon with my church, but I am starting to see that a love for teaching children is still in my heart. You see, I have felt like it has been dormant for quite awhile.
However, God is showing me that it was never asleep, but always there because He placed it in my heart. He has given me a gift to work with children and I have always known this, but tried to run from it many times. I don't know what this means for me in the future, but I do know that children, and fatherless children, in particular, are going to be an integral part of my life.
I am also learning how to raise them in the way they should go in a foreign country. As an American in a foreign land, there are many challenges one must overcome and face. I came here to learn about this culture, to see what God is doing here, but also to help with this precious little girl and boy.
I am starting to see that God is in the deepest part of me in the day to day chores, changing the diapers, teaching letters, teaching Bible stories, teaching how to praise Jesus. I can practice the presence of God in these day to day situations and He will meet with me. He is truly my Great Reward through everything!
I am realizing how much I have missed it, being with children day to day. There is so much joy to be found in my heart when I'm around them. Wow, I just don't know what else to write, except that my heart is full. It feels full of the joy of the Lord! My cup overfloweth...
There is a song by Michael Drake Margolnick called "Am I Awake?" and it's been running through my head today. May I stay awake during this hour that is very near to the end. Time is nothing to God. He can come back any second, but am I ready? Am I awake?
It's not often you get to be in the most incredible meetings with the most incredible people. When I say incredible, I am not talking about your average "Joe Christian." Today, I met two refugees who escaped a well-known Middle Eastern country about one year ago. They love Jesus and have been trying to get to America to go to seminary for one year now. They have also suffered greatly.
They are a young husband and wife who, by God's grace, were able to escape this particular country in the Middle East after planting a few underground churches there. This particular country has one of the fastest growing Christian churches right now as there are known to be about 4 million Christians underground. However, if you were once a Muslim and either convert to Christianity or convert someone else from the Muslim faith you can be arrested and suffer very severe punishments or even death.
The stories the husband told me today through the translation of Josh were amazing! I could not believe I was in that room. I felt like I was in a board meeting with the UN or top officials of the government! In the Spirit, these people were some of the top officials. They have endured many hardships to even make it to this country. They are trying to make it to the US of A and I pray they will one day get there. Hopefully sooner than later.
They cooked us a traditional meal from their country that was delicious. I love Middle Eastern food by the way! It's sooo good! There is a lot of rice which I love! Anyway, as they shared their testimony, I just felt like I take my freedoms for granted so much in my own country.
These people have been persecuted tremendously and yet they have so much joy! They have seen the love of the Father in the midst of their circumstances. What do I truly know about suffering for Jesus? I am learning a lot and my heart is being touched so deeply here.
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